Diving into "Walking"

I have taught Thoreau every year of my teaching career, but I've always skimmed much of his writings. Honestly, I've always preferred Emerson to Thoreau--he's a little more subtle about his way of life. Thoreau is so much more "in your face," which is commendable as well as completely annoying. But I have to say, I really enjoyed "Walking." Every other line was note-worthy and quote-worthy. I found myself getting lost in the descriptions and the natural religion of it all. He makes it all seem so easy--getting away from the world, enjoying nature, not needing money. Maybe that's why he's so annoying. Though I envy him in many ways. I envy his spontaneity, yet I love that I have a steady job. I envy his ability to be one with nature, yet I have no desire to pick up and live in a tent. I envy his simple life, yet I love my laptop. I find myself going back to the same line over and over again: "My needle is slow to settle..." I feel that way often, that my poor little compass is wearing itself out trying to keep up with my head. I'll be in the parking lot of one restaurant ready to go inside when I realize that I want something completely different for dinner--so I turn my car around and go. I'm afraid I live life the same way. Thoreau might say that that is exactly what I should do--I should live for myself and do what I want--but I can't help thinking that I'm slowing driving myself around in circles. Shouldn't I make a decision and stick to it? I guess that's what Thoreau would consider being "civilized" and he hates that. Perhaps I need to spend more time in nature so that I can fully understand exactly what Thoreau means by all of this. I have been "weaned from Nature's breast into society," he says. So, maybe, I need to get back to my roots.